Goodbye bowels, hello coma

Anyway, on December 13th, my colon burst. From then on I have a mental blackout. I was operated five times and the doctors put me in an artificial coma for a week – with severe sepsis, peritonitis and bilateral pneumonia. I know from stories that I was swollen like a balloon and that the doctors expected the worst.

And this artificial coma not only looked bad from the outside, it was also more than severe to me. But I’ll write about these blatant experiences and hallucinations another time. I either start a series of other blog posts or write a book about the whole thing and my way back – I have something funny in mind that will inspire readers.

Help, I’ve been kidnapped

But back to the action: at one point I was brought out of the coma thinking that I had been kidnapped and should be tortured to death – somewhere far from home in a tiny house on a lonely hill. That’s why I was totally shocked when I suddenly saw my husband. Damn, they caught him too, I have to warn him, I thought in panic. That’s why I croaked desperately with some orange stuff in my mouth: „Get out of here, get out of here!“ The poor guy was already thinking that my brain had not survived the coma. But he stayed.

As I slowly woke up, at some point I realized that I couldn’t move – and that I had a plastic bag stuck to my stomach. I also had a huge open stomach wound in which there were sponges that I never looked at – not even out of the corner of my eye. It turned out that the doctors had to remove my colon except for the rectum and I now had an artificial anus. My right arm was still tremendously swollen from having survived sepsis – llike the one Hellboy has, but with a hand that looked like a pig’s foot.

No superheroine

  And I couldn’t do anything anymore: no walking, no sitting – I couldn’t even speak properly. This is called post-sepsis syndrome, which can also be associated with a disease of the nerves (critical illness polyneuropathy). The nerves and brain are affected – and the muscles are downright stunted. So I was completely paralyzed in the intensive care unit and didn’t know what was happening to me. But at least everything was still there except for my intestines. Luckily. Because many of those affected by sepsis lose their hands or feet – or their eyesight. In my case, I still had those. But my brain wasn’t working properly. Somehow wrong words came out of me. And I could only see to a limited extent. In short, I couldn’t do anything and was completely dependent on outside help. And that was pretty difficult for me – but I had no choice either.

Just this much: the whole thing mobilized forces in me that I didn’t even suspect I had. And it gave me a whole new look at life because it was extremely challenging physically and mentally. Despite everything, I really like to remember it, because it was an intense and instructive time. I’ll write it down, I promise.

In any case, it took about a year before I was fully able to move again. And in January 2020 I was finally so fit that I went under the knife again. And by no means lightly. To be honest, I was really nervous about it. But why another operation at all?

Bye, bye bag

  Although my hospital stay in 2018 had been difficult for me, I still had confidence in the doctors‘ ability. Because the surgeons understand their craft – and that’s what counts. It is better to cry into the pillow after a successful operation than to be petted after a failed one. And I was lucky: Despite the emergency surgery, I had the opportunity to put my artificial anus (stoma) back. I thought back and forth for months. Yes no why? I’m healthy and I’m fine with the bag too. Should I let them cut me open? Whhuaa. But I did it at the end of January 2020 – and it was a complete success. A life with a bag is okay – but I am infinitely happy and grateful that I can live without it again. The stomach wound has yet to heal and I am not allowed to carry anything heavy. But other than that, I feel great and am on fire to finally fill my shop and paint new pictures. I’m so happy that I’m still alive and that I can do all these great creative things.